


The Date (How it Should Have Happened)

by Aloneindarknes7



Series: Start on the Right Path [1]
Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: Crossdressing, Episode Remix, First Dates, Fluff and Humor, Kissing, M/M, Oblivious, Other, Protectiveness, skeleton dance - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 12:31:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6566296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aloneindarknes7/pseuds/Aloneindarknes7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Lord Hater gets stood up on a date, Wander convinces Sylvia to endure a dreadful date with him to save a planet. Wait, what? Why would Sylvia stand in for Lord Hater when Wander himself is more than willing to play a little dress-up for the chance to spend an intimate night with Hater. Episode rewrite of The Date.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Date (How it Should Have Happened)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic for Wander Over Yonder. I knew this would happen once I started watching the show. I just love Jack McBrayer and everything he does so much. He's such a pure person. So when I found Skeleton Dance, I knew I was doomed to fall in love with this pairing and write for it. Luckily, I found a nice fluffy idea to start with. I'm not known for that if people are familiar with my other works.
> 
> 8/15: Now translated into Russian thanks to efarukshina on Tumblr! https://ficbook.net/readfic/4667530

_“Who in their right mind would go on a date with Lord Hater?”_

Wander smiled at Sylvia. She frowned and then slowly a smirk crawled over her face as she looked pointedly at Wander. His smile fell into a look of confusion. 

“No,” Wander hesitantly shook his head. “I couldn’t. Hater would totally recognize me.” Sylvia lifted a brow. “Well,” Wander rubbed at his chin. “I do have that real pretty green dress I just picked up on that last planet. Maybe with a wig and some makeup,” he trailed off and Sylvia smiled. Wander was already digging through the hat.

“As long as it’s not me,” Sylvia sighed to herself as she looked over at Lord Hater. He was lying over the table and throwing a balled up paper at the waiter. 

“How do I look?” Wander asked, stretching out his arms as wide as his grin. The dress had been cute when he had originally tried it on at the flea market planet they had gone to. It ended just above Wander’s knees and hugged his slender form. But Wander had added a black, half jacket and black nylons over his short little legs. He’d also gone for a long blonde wig, which didn’t surprise Sylvia; she knew he preferred being a blonde when he had the chance. She didn’t know that Wander owned heels though.

“Can you even walk in those things?” She asked doubtfully. 

“Of course, I’ve practiced. Wish me luck!” Wander handed her the hat and then proceeded to walk past her with an over-exaggerated sway in his hips. “Oh no, woe is me! I have been stood up and feel so rejected and vulnerable. I guess the only thing there is for me to do now is to leave this fine establishment and return home, alone.” Wander pressed the back of his hand to his head as he stopped just before Hater’s table.

Hater’s eyes went up and down Wander’s getup. Sylvia watched with baited breath. Maybe they were wrong and Lord Hater really would see through Wander’s disguise. 

But Hater merely turned away to spray himself down with some awful cologne that she could smell from across the room. Wander, being within close proximity to Hater, started to tear up from the smell, which ended up working in his favor when he started to cough and leaned against the empty chair at Hater’s table.

“Well, hello,” Hater drawled out the ‘o’ until his mouth was the same shape. “I couldn’t help but overhear your predicament and I thought it would be such a shame to have such a pretty lady go off without the honor of having dinner with me. You do know me, of course.”

“Of course, Lord Hater,” Wander grinned. “You’re the greatest. I’m a big fan. It would be such a big treat for me to have dinner with you.” Wander batted his eyes as he took a seat across from Hater.

Hater was caught off guard for a moment. He had never heard something so genuine come from someone other than a Watchdog. “Right, yeah, I could have been here with anyone tonight, but you’re the lucky lady that’s going to have the best night of her life.” Hater reached out and grabbed Wander’s hands. Wander giggled.

Sylvia rolled her eyes and motioned the waiter over to her table. It turned out she was going to get a show so might as well get her dinner to go with it. If she was going to be playing chaperon to Wander’s date with Hater, then she deserved dessert too.

She was rather thankful she couldn’t hear whatever was going on at the table. Hater never seemed to stop talking. If anyone else was on that date, they’d be bored listening to such a pompous airhead go on about himself. But she could tell Wander loved every moment of it, perhaps a little too much.

“Oh no,” Sylvia realized her mistake when Wander reached across the table to take Hater’s hand. She knew that her little buddy was very affectionate and easily saw the best in others, even when she was sure there wasn’t anything to be seen in them. But she also knew that Wander was dangerously _attracted_ to evil doers. 

“This is going to end in tears for someone,” Sylvia vowed as she watched Hater laugh uproariously at his own joke. Wander looked smitten at seeing Hater’s smile and she knew that the date was sealed. “Oh, buddy, why?” She ate her own dinner while watching Hater continue to talk and Wander hang on his every word with small comments of praise thrown in.

When Wander finished his vegetarian plate and reached automatically for the bill, Sylvia sighed. The dinner was finally over. 

“Now we can get on with the rest of the date!” Hater stood up and grabbed Wander.

“Rest of?” Sylvia shouted.

“Rest of?” Wander smiled gleefully in Hater’s arms as the skeleton overlord ran out of the restaurant with the tiny wanderer. 

Sylvia made to chase after them when she was stopped by the waiter. “Eh-hem,” he cleared his throat as he held out her bill.

“Fine, keep the change. I’ve gotta save my buddy.” If Hater tried to get fresh with Wander, she was going to knock him into another galaxy. Luckily, if was easy to follow Lord Hater’s trail. She could hear him at the carnival the moment she stepped out of the restaurant. 

Those poor booth attendants seemed terrified. 

They were shivering in their booths when Hater approached to try and knock down the milk jugs. Sylvia was thankful that Wander had such quick reflexes. Not only did he grab Hater’s ball when it ricocheted off the game and almost struck him between the eyes, but he moved faster than the eye could see to return it to the game and successfully knock over the jugs.

“You did it, Hatey!” Wander screamed gleefully and hugged him around his waist.

“I did it? I mean, of course, I did it! I’m the greatest in the galaxy!” Hater boomed and shot out lightning bolts from his fingers due to his excitement. Sylvia ducked from a stray bolt.

“Here you go,” the frightened stall manager handed over a large stuffed toy. Hater’s eyes widened with delight as he hugged the toy. Sylvia rolled her eyes but Wander simply held on to Hater’s free hand and pulled him towards the Ferris wheel. 

When Hater sat the stuffed animal next to himself in the seat, Sylvia relaxed. If Wander didn’t ride with Hater, then she didn’t have to worry about her friend’s virtue. 

Wander hopped over the stuffed animal and onto Hater’s lap. Hater’s eyes widened with surprise as Wander wiggled his eyebrows. “Huh,” Sylvia stated aloud. Maybe she should be looking out for Lord Hater’s virtue. Before she could react, the wheel was already spinning. Sylvia watched as Hater and Wander went all the way to the top before the wheel stopped again. Craning her neck as far back as it could, she still couldn’t manage to see what was happening up there.

“Alright, desperate times call for desperate measures.” She gripped the hat and stared into it. “Come on, I could really use a pair of binoculars right now.” She reached in and of course didn’t come out with binoculars. A tin of breath mints sat in her hand. “That’s what I get for ordering the onion soup.” She muttered as she plopped a mint into her mouth.

She tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the wheel to move again after what felt like an eternity. When their seat came back into view, Hater looked blissfully dazed with lipstick stains all over his white face. Wander stepped out of the seat when the ride came to a complete stop and started to reapply the orange gloss over his lips. 

“Coming, Hatey?” Wander called over his shoulder as he stepped in line for a carriage ride up to Exclamation Point.

“Uh, kissing, I, wha—pretty girl, kissing, I, uh, yeah! Yeah, babe, I’m coming!” Hater tripped over his feet as he made his way off the Ferris wheel. He doubled back to grab the stuffed animal and then slid into the carriage with a wide grin at Wander. 

Sylvia groaned and threw the mints angrily at the carriage. She only got some delight at having hit Hater with the tin. Her delight quickly soured when Hater emptied the container into his mouth and then checked his breath before the carriage pulled away. 

She had enough. This date was going to be over one way or another. Sylvia was pulling her buddy out of this mess, even if it meant having to pull another carriage up onto that tall hill. Her unlucky customers probably weren’t too satisfied with their moonlit stroll turning into a speeding carriage race, but she got the couple up onto the hill in one piece. She was also just in time to help Wander.

“Oh come on!” Sylvia shouted indignantly. 

Wander was sitting on Hater’s lap with his hands buried in the darkness of Hater’s hood. Hater meanwhile had his hands buried in Wander’s wig and didn’t seem to be noticing that he had practically pulled it off. He was probably too distracted with whatever Wander’s tongue seemed to be doing in his mouth.

Wander heard her angry cry though and opened his eyes. “Oh, hiya, Sylvia!” He pulled away from Hater with a noisy pop from his lips. He waved at her happily. “Sorry, but I kinda got pulled into the whole date thing. It’s late, isn’t it? You’re probably tired from all the running around we did earlier today and we still haven’t found a camping spot for tonight.”

Hater was still blinking his eyes back into focus from his dreamy state of making-out bliss. That was why it took him a moment to notice he was holding a wig in his hand and his lap no longer held a pretty girl that was interested in kissing him. 

“Huh, what the?” Hater stared intently at the wig as though he was waiting for it to explain himself. When he glanced over the side of the carriage, his eyes widened. “Wander and Sylvia? When did you two get here? And did you guys see what happened to my date? Her name is Wanda and she’s this totally pretty girl and we were just making out. It was awesome.” Hater grinned.

Wander giggled, still in the dress that Hater apparently was blind to without blonde hair attached to it. “Oh, Hater, I can’t keep lying to you, not when we’ve had such a lovely evening together.” Wander hopped back up into the carriage, took the wig out of Hater’s hand and put it on his head. Then he removed the wig and placed it back into Hater’s hand. 

“What?!? Wander, you’re Wanda!” Hater’s jaw fell off from his surprise.

Wander picked his jaw up and put it back on his face. Then he leaned in for one last kiss, using the moment of Hater’s shock to get away with it. 

“I had such a nice time on our date, Hater, but Sylvia is tired so I gotta get going now.” He took off his outfit and placed it back into the hat while also taking out his orbble juice. He made a large bubble and hopped onto Sylvia’s back with his hat back on his head. “See ya later, Hatey!” Wander winked as Sylvia began to float off into the night sky.

They passed by the Skullship and Sylvia saluted at Peepers from inside the large windows. The commanding Watchdog looked furious and Sylvia wondered if she hadn’t been the only chaperone watching from afar for the night. 

Wander hummed a happy tune on her back as they scouted the nearby planets for a good spot to camp for the night. “Well, buddy, you did a great job tonight saving that planet from Hater’s wrath.” She commended as she decided to test the water.

“Ah, it was nothing, Sylv. I just got to enjoy a lovely evening with my good friend.” Wander reassured.

Friend, huh? Sylvia wondered to herself. Wander often kissed and hugged his close friends, but she’d never seen him get tongue-tied with one before. But if Wander was still thinking of Hater as just a friend, that was fine by her. It would keep things from being a little less complicated in her life, at least for a while longer.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Meanwhile, Hater was still sitting in the carriage with a stunned expression as he held onto the wig. Peepers decided enough time had passed and quietly approached his boss. 

“Lord Hater, sir, is everything alright?” Peepers asked cautiously. He didn’t get too close to the carriage. He knew the familiar sting of Lord Hater’s lightning when he had been tricked by Wander.

“I,” Lord Hater slowly licked his lips and managed to blink. “I can still taste him.” Hater looked at the wig in his hand and ran his fingers gently through the blonde strands. “I kissed him, Peepers, I kissed Wander. I kissed him, and I liked it.”

“He tricked you, sir, no one will think differently of you.” Peepers certainly wouldn’t because he wasn’t at all surprised by the night’s events. He knew Lord Hater was easily fooled and desperate for positive attention by a pretty girl. His most hated enemy in a wig who was filled with positivity was certainly something that could have easily shaken up Lord Hater.

“No, that’s not it, Peepers.” Hater looked up into the sky as he drew the wig up against his chest. “I want to go on another date with him.” 

“What? Sir, now you can’t mean that! You mean you want to destroy him for tricking you! Right? Please tell me that isn’t what you want?” Peepers felt like his life as he knew it was being turned upside down.

“What I want, Peepers?” Hater finally got out of the carriage. He placed the wig onto his stuffed prize and hugged it tight to his chest. “I want my bounty on Wander doubled. I want him brought to the Skullship as soon as possible.”

Peepers sighed and saluted. “Yes, sir, of course, sir!”

“And I want the cafeteria to work on some vegetarian dishes. When Wander comes over for our next date I want him to have some choices. That restaurant was awful. He could only order like two things off of that menu. What kind of fancy restaurant only has two vegetarian dishes?” Hater scoffed as he started towards the Skullship. “I’m going to blow Wander’s mind on our next date. He won’t stand a chance against me. I’ll show him that I am the greatest dater in the galaxy!” 

Peepers wondered if he stayed on the planet if anyone would notice he was gone. “This is going to end in tears. Probably mine,” he sighed as he followed after Lord Hater. Oddly enough, it wouldn’t be too difficult to tweak his plans of capturing Wander in order to be destroyed to capturing Wander in order to be taken on a date. He wondered if that said something about their plans.

**Author's Note:**

> I am sure I will be writing more for this pairing. I might continue off of this fic and write down my ideas of how the show would change, slightly, once Hater and Wander started to date for real on their quest to become the greatest boyfriends in the galaxy. But I am also in love with the AU of Lord Wander being an evil Dominator type and well, that sort of angsty possibilities is right up my alley. Anyways, let me know what you think and what you'd like to see more of. You can reach me here in the comments or on my Tumblr where I post many fandom related things; http://aloneindarknes7.tumblr.com/


End file.
